5 Reasons You’re Not Reaching Your Goals (And How To Fix Them)

Maybe next time.

Tell me if this seems familiar. You've been trying to balance your work/home/church life so that you don’t disappoint anyone.

All your friends think that you are like Superwoman and admire how you handle your responsibilities. It looks so effortless to them.

However, you feel as though you are stretched thin and don’t know how much longer you can act as though you have it all together.

How does that make you feel? Maybe like a fraud or an imposter. Perhaps you feel tired, stressed and believe you are a failure at heart.

Ready to learn all about some major obstacles to living a stress free life and how to fix them?

Grab yourself a cup of your favourite brew, your journal and that pen you never returned from your last hotel stay. Yes, that one.

Throughout my 15+ years leading empowerment workshops, I have learned a thing or two about why people aren't getting the results they want at home, at work or even at church.

Often it comes down to one of these 5 reasons. Knowing the what and why is often the first step in progressing in life and feeling as though you have achieved your goals.

1. Comparing Yourself To Other People

Totally different, friend!

I love music. Absolutely love it no matter the source. One of my favourite songs from Sesame Street is “There Is Only One Me”.

I often used it as a poem for my kids when I was an elementary school teacher.

It was a great opener when doing the topic of “Myself” for Composition writing.

The song starts…“There is only one me that can do what I do. There is only one me. It’s the same way for you.”

I think that we very often forget this and compare ourselves to other people who we can’t ever be like. And this causes feelings of sadness, discontentment and even depression.

This stops us from being who God has truly called us to be and the negative feelings continue to go around in a vicious cycle. Here's the truth:

We put a limit on our thinking and lose focus of who we really are and what we can achieve just by being us and staying true to our talents.

Check out this inspiring video about the dangers of comparing yourself to others by Above Inspiration.

So what can you do to fix this?

Understand and accept that comparisons are very useful and can keep you on track.

But only if we can do so in a healthy manner that encourages motivation and not feelings of inadequacy.

If you know you feel depressed and unhappy when you compare yourself to other people, change the person you compare yourself to.

Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, compare yourself to you. To the ‘you’ of the past. To the ‘you’ from yesterday.

Make a checklist of your habits, behaviours, achievements and abilities. Look at bad habits you had in the past and see if you still have them.

And if you do, be determined, disciplined and diligent to work on them.

But if you’ve shown improvement? Pat yourself on the back and do a happy dance.

You are the only person on your path. So make sure the person you compare yourself to is the old you. Use that comparison to strive every day to be a better version of yourself than you were the day before.

2. Hanging With The Wrong Crowd

Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb.

Did you know that groups of people who hang out together usually have something in common? Good or bad.

So if you wanted to lose weight do you think it would be more productive to hang out with people who care nothing about a healthy living or those who are trying to eat well and exercise regularly?

Very often our ability to achieve goals depends heavily on the people we share those goals with or get inspiration from.

Do you have a course or programme you always wanted to study bookmarked on your computer or in a folder tucked away in a drawer?

Maybe you always wanted to try a hobby but are ashamed to let your family or friends know in case they laugh at you.

Well, it's time to dig out the list, sign up for that class and get to work on it.

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Related: Here's a nifty little post on being in a community that can really help you understand the importance of knowing our tribe much better.

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Here’s what you can do if your crowd isn’t helping you achieve your goals. Do some research and see where your tribe is and start spending time with them.

Let’s run with the previous scenario. If you are interested in healthy living join a Social Media group that promotes a healthy lifestyle.

Their quotes, conversations and suggestions will appeal to the part of you that longs for the same things.

You can also join a gym. Or find stores and shops that focus on natural, holistic or alternative products and talk to the employees.

You can learn so much by linking with experts in the area you wish to know more about.

I’m not saying to ditch your old friends. But here's my encouragement:

That is a great way to get encouragement to start moving forward and putting things in place for your success.

3. Not Setting SMART Goals

Let me check my list.

I’m not calling you a fool. Let me state that up front.

But you should know that in order to achieve a task, you have to get SMART with your goals. Goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.

As a teacher I had to be very clear on lesson objectives and make sure that they were goals that I could test and measure. If not, I ran the risk of:

• being unable to gauge my students’ progress

• wasting time

• frustrating them and myself

Maybe this is an area you need help with. If that’s the case here’s a great example of a SMART goal.

Let’s say you were interested in weight loss. Don’t set a goal like, “I want to eat better and lose weight.”

That is too vague, too big and too unattainable. You will not do it. Trust me.

Instead say, “For lunch today I won't drink a soda. I'll drink 2 glasses of water with lemons (and maybe dream there's sugar in it!)"

• It's Specific (at lunch).

• It's Measurable (what you drink and the amount).

• It's Achievable (open your mouth and request water, not soda).

• it's Relevant (it fits in with your weight loss goal).

• It's Time-bound (it will last as long as your meal).

Do you see how a SMART goal is more attainable and will leave you less frustrated?

Give it a try and you’ll see how much easier it is to achieve that kind of goal.

4. Not Investing In Yourself

Investment = growth

There’s a saying I’m sure that you know: If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.

Sometimes we want to do better. Go somewhere. Achieve a goal.

But we either just talk about it or only do what we can, reach a plateau and then stay there.

Very often not investing in ourselves is a big part of why we don’t progress.

I remember when I started learning the bass guitar. I already knew how to play the acoustic guitar so I transferred much of that knowledge into bass guitar playing.

I practised with a band I was in, practised with my hubby, Brian (who plays acoustic guitar) and practised along with the radio.

But eventually I reached the point where I felt that I had plateaued and I couldn’t do anything more on my own.

I had a choice to make: keep doing what I was doing or find an expert to help me reach another level.

So I paid for a 10 week course with an expert bass player and learnt so much more. I was able to incorporate it into my playing.

Let’s be real. We all love free things.

We don’t even care what it is as long as we don’t have to pay for it. But too much ‘freeness’ can hurt us.

That’s because:

But when we have to dig deep into our pockets and pay for a course or programme? You can bet we will get our money’s worth.

Investing in ourselves is good for our skill set and also our motivation to achieve more.

So try to step back, be objective, and look at ways you can invest in yourself to help you live a more stress free life.

Your future self will thank you!

5. Making Excuses to Hide Your Fears

Maybe they won't see me.

Do you find that there’s always something that prevents you from achieving your goals? You need to:

• Pay bills.

• Take the kids somewhere.

• Cook and clean.

The hard truth is that very often we use excuses to hide the fact that we are afraid.

• Afraid to fail. Being afraid to fail can make us question our abilities and talents. That's because we've been taught that failure is bad.

But it's only bad if we allow it to stop us.

Failure is great at teaching us humility and also showing us what doesn't work. So we can try something different and get that much closer to success.

• Afraid of what other people will say. We know all too well the sting of other people's tongues.

We don't want to hear that we aren't good enough. We don't want people laughing at our efforts.

So we don't even give them a chance. We shut down and deny ourselves the opportunity to do amazing things with our time and talents.

• Afraid to succeed. But the fear of success? That is a fear unlike any other.

We have something burning in us just waiting to ignite and set the world around us ablaze. But we're afraid we can't control that fire so we don't even bother to light it at all.

Perhaps it's time to reflect on our true feelings and identify the things that are holding us back from achieving our goals.

Then we need to work on transforming our minds and make affirmations that encourage us to work through our fears. Remember:

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You may have noticed that all 5 of these reasons for not achieving our goals point back to us and what we do.

Or don’t do.

I want you to affirm these next 5 statements out loud:

• I must compare myself to my old self in order to track my progress and reach my goals.

• I must be in the community that will help me reach my goals.

• I must set SMART objectives for myself in order to reach my goals.

• I must invest in myself and my future in order to reach my goals.

• I must face my fears and work through them in order to reach my goals.

At first, these ways of fixing your goal blockers may seem impossible or challenging to turn around. Consider this: Practice doesn’t make perfect. It makes a habit.

So make sure that you practise until you get in the habit of taking positive actions that lead you to a more stress free life.

Which of the reasons above resonated with you the most?

In the Comments below, write the affirmation from above that you promise to commit to on your journey to less stress and more success in your life.